The story of today is real.
The theme of today’s story is frustration and irritability and nonsensical “woe is me”. And it was all mine. Because I was tired and fatigued and my body was sore. Because I chose to let a million little things cause me to mumble and grumble. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, if you will, and let it ruin this day, for me, and likely for those that I snapped at (Brad) as a result.
It was an off day. I think we all have them, and I include those thoughts here only to be real and admit, hey, it sometimes take
a little bit a whole lot of effort to just snap out of it already (remember that whole “restart” button I used on Wednesday??? Should’ve remembered that today.).
But also, the story of today was routine, with a few unusual odds and ends throw in as I continued the final prep for Halloween.
6:00am - 2.16 miles and Dish Anywhere and not hydrating enough.
8:33am - School bell rings. I say “I love you Bubba, have a great day!” to my oldest, and chase after my middle as he races down the hall to get to his classroom, where he steps right in and begins to do his thing.
8:45am - Back home and Mickey and Minion meet me at the door.
8:48am - Ruby sleeps and Brad looks like he’s scowling but really it’s just his resting/concentrating face, exhausted and disappointed from the Royals loss the night before.
9:55am - The story of her day includes play, lounge, suck, smile, repeat.
10:09am - Diaper changes. So many. All day.
10:11am - The story of every day is seeing this and having it make me so very happy. It really is the little things.
11:01am - The story of today includes technology and a big brother and text messages that brighten my day; messages that both warm my heart and make me laugh out loud.
12:24pm - The story of today includes listening to my body and giving myself permission and closing my eyes if for only a little bit.
2:16pm - The story of today includes the grocery store. Twice. I stopped after dropping off the boys at school just to pick up a couple cake mixes so that I could get cupcakes baked in the morning. I knew making the “big” trip to the store wouldn’t happen until after lunch, and I also knew that if I waited that long to bake that it would end up being way too late and my sleep, once again, would suffer. My plan didn’t quite work out as I was hoping (my sweet, sweet girl strayed from her usual nap schedule) which, if you’ve been following along, was one of those stupid things I let unnecessarily get under my skin. Obviously this was no fault of hers, but the fact that I let it bother me gives you a bit better sense of where I was at mentally and emotionally.
3:26pm - The story of today includes arriving early to school and catching him on the playground, saying “hello!!” and seeing his smiling face as he runs to give his baby sister a kiss.
5:09pm - The story of today includes playing referee for her new favorite thing to do.
5:20pm - Halloween prep and helping hands.
5:38pm - The story of today includes a text to Brad “Can you just pick something up for dinner on your way home?” because, you know, my mood, combined with the fatigue and the pressure I put on myself and, you know…
6:08pm - Final stage of classroom party prep
and teaching my apprentice a baking tip or two.
7:53pm - The story of today concludes with the awesomeness that is hearing this guy read combined with a few chuckles caused by the book he’s reading.
Thoughts about Thursday…
I have read and heard and know that the mom of the house sets the tone for everyone else. I know this. And believe this 100% for our home. Does this mean I can’t have a bad day? I don’t think so. But I do think it means that I need to be extremely careful that my bad day doesn’t turn everyone else’s that way too. As I’ve had a couple days now to think back on Thursday — it is clear that I need take better care of myself. I was moody because I was tired. I was letting things bother me that shouldn’t because I was feeling ungrateful and selfish. I was in a funk and overwhelmed and expecting too much of myself and all the negative was pushing in and winning. I get up early in the morning to exercise. It feels great when it’s over and it’s worth it, but that also means I need to compensate on the other side and make sure I’m going to bed early enough. I need to drink more water. Eat more fruit. Overall take better care of myself in order to take better care of my family.
I know that my ability to focus and complete tasks has been lacking for the past several months (likely also due to, at least in part, being tired). Making lists (with pen and paper) seems to be the best way for me to accomplish tasks. I shared on Wednesday a photo of my meal planning calendar/grocery list and ad/family calendar system that works so well for me. I need to create a similar system for all of my other tasks. My goal is to do as much as I can while the boys are at school so that once they return home, they - and not the laundry - have my full attention.
Alongside that, I also need to cut myself some slack. And give myself permission to take a break.
And also, if anyone would like to step in and take the grocery shopping off my to-do list, by all means…
Thursday’s favorite moment…
There are many days where my only “conversation” with another adult (besides Brad) happen via text. The text I received from my brother (and there were others today, as well) was just the thing I needed.