Monday, September 26, 2016

On Turning 37

Getting older is just weird.

You'll generally hear me lament about the passage of time when it comes to the kids - usually around their birthdays or the beginning of a new school year.  And I especially had a bit of a rough time when Brad celebrated his 40th this year.  It's one thing to have my kids grow in size and advance in age, but it's an entirely new ballgame when my husband - my peer - has a milestone birthday!

I'm not at all sad or angsty about leaving 36 behind.  I'm perfectly okay with 37 (although I have a hunch 38, 39, and the big 4-0 won't come so easily).  But more and more, I'm finding myself particularly in tune with what it means, and what my experience is, in getting older.  And it's just weird.

Weird because I don't necessarily feel 37.  True, I don't know what 37 feels like; this is my first time here.  It's kind of an odd sort of twilight zone experience, where I'm clearly in tune with my younger self - I remember her and her experiences and think of her as being not that far away.  But then, when I do the math, I realize that the Lesley I think I left behind just a couple years ago, graduated from high school 18 years ago.  Holy cats.  And to ice that cake, I often think of myself at the ages my kids are (especially the boys, at nine and seven) and that younger Lesley - well, she's darn near dust.  I remember the first time I found myself saying "Twenty years ago..." and actually remembering 20 years ago.  Now, I can say "Thirty years ago..." and have the same sort of surreal experience.  That's just weird, y'all.

And then, in an especially morbid turn of events, the passage of time in the twilight experience has me thinking about myself into the future - specifically, how much time I have left.  With it, comes the heavy (and this is where some angst comes in) realization that time may not be on my side.  My life may very well be half over.

{Now you all are feeling very weird.  Sorry about that.}

Let's just say longevity doesn't read much on my genetic code.

Hmmmm.  I don't really know where I'm going with this.  Just, time is passing.  We're all getting older.  And when they say "time flies" they really mean it.  I'm in a place where I'm evaluating and discovering and wondering and sensing and trying to figure out what it all means.  Here.  For me.  At 37.  I guess it's never too late for self-discovery.

Here's to embracing growing older.


As for my birthday, it was a really great day.  Church with friends, Culver's with my family, an afternoon spent receiving messages from and Skyping with those that mean the most.  The evening spent with friends, as we usually do on Sunday nights.  And some negotiating on purchase agreements for our house.


What's this?

Yep.  Our house is on the market.  More about that later. 


Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Another New Start

*heavy sigh*

So.  Hi.  Been a while, right?  I know.
I'm not that happy about it, either.
I want you to know that I'm working on it.  I want to catch up even more than you want me to catch up.  Believe me.  And I have hopes and plans to get it done.  I likely won't let you know when I post past stories, so if you're inclined, occasionally scroll down or check the sidebar.  This space is important to me.  I hope to make it a priority again.

Welp.  We did it.  We survived summer.  Even the last two and a half weeks, which were r.o.u.g.h.  Oofta.  But we woke up this morning with renewed energy and enthusiasm, as we welcomed Drew's fourth grade year and Reed's second grade year!  Woohoo!

This guy is super excited about second grade!  He loves his friends and he loves being at school and he's really looking forward to having the teacher he's been assigned to.  He woke up with a big smile on his face and a subtle sort of buzz about his first day.  

He's a bit of a minion fan.

And this stud.  He's growing up, in both stature and maturity.  Still a 9-year-old, through and through, but maturing into quite the young man.  He won't admit to being as excited as Reed is about his first day, but I have a hunch he's looking forward to it.  He has his first ever male teacher, which will be fun and new, and the majority of his buddies are in his class - which we're hoping will be an asset to both Drew and his teacher, and not a liability!  

After his backpack took a beating last year, with more books and supplies toted back and forth everyday, we knew we'd have to graduate from the cheap character bags to the studly-er, big-man-on-campus backpacks.  Drew's favorite colors are black and red, so he's loving this beauty, and after the first two stores fell short, we found the camo lunch bag he wanted at Target.

With a forecasted high of 90 today, with a heat index making it feel like 94... I hope no one melts in our 90 year old, non-air-conditioned school!!

I escorted the boys to school (like I do everyday) and dropped them off in their rooms.  There were so many kids and so many parents throughout the school that I said quick good-byes and saw myself out the door.  Super thankful to have confident, comfortable kids as well as an incredibly fun and safe school for them to go to!

(Annnnnddd he's growing up so much he's telling me "no" when I ask for a picture.  So I took one anyway.)

So, I guess the next question is, what did Ruby and I do all day?  Answer:  absolutely nothing.  And it was rad.

First day of school dinner tradition:  Culver's.  Because duh.

I've learned that I have to be super specific when it comes to asking the boys questions about their day.  That's certainly one of the things I'm not so fond of as they grow older: they begin to clam up.  In summary, they both had great days.  And Drew will have no homework all year long.  He's pretty dang excited about that.

Hello, 2016-2017 school year.

We're so excited you're here.